I stopped making excuses – I knew I had messed up… Obviously. I had to take full ownership and admit it was 100% my problem and my job to fix it.
Seek health and freedom, not just recovery from porn
Seek health and freedom, not just recovery from porn
Written by Shawn Bonneteau
August 30, 2019
To truly heal from pornography addiction, you need to seek health and freedom, not just recovery
What does this mean?
Well, let’s look at an example of someone who has “recovered” and someone who has “healed”
The “Dry Drunk” is the one who has recovered because he found sobriety: This person may have been sober for say 20 years BUT still calls himself an “addict”. Let’s use an alcoholic for an example here – The reason they would still say “I am an addict” is that the moment they get a drop of alcohol on their tongue they would be right back to their destructive drinking habits. The reason for this is they have deeper problems than just drinking alcohol. The problem goes as deep as our root wounds and sometimes that is much deeper than we may want to go…
Someone who is “Healthy” is typically the one who has found what most desire, FREEDOM from their addiction: This person would be the one who was willing to do the deep work to get into their root wounds and heal from the inside out. They move past avoiding the habit and move into finding out why they seek the habit in the first place. This is what builds the foundation to becoming a healthy, aware, and forward-focused individually who is on their way to total health and freedom, not just recovery!
Heres an analogy to help you understand the root wounds and why they are so important to go from “recovery” to “healthy”
It may not be the most obvious example but onions are a great comparison here: Like onions, humans have many layers to their emotional self. You may think that our physical porn habit is the problem when truthfully, the issue may be that your Father never said “I love you” and was always working. Deep issues such as this can lead you to feel unloved, abandoned and even worthless. These are the very emotions and incidents that would drive someone to seek porn and other addictions. When this is the case, you need to get “beneath the layers” and work on what’s really bothering you and causing you to act out… Because if you dont , you will simply be left to avoid the habit and find sobriety when total health and freedom are 100% available to you!
How can you move into seeking “health and freedom” and not just “recovery?
1 – One of the most important habits one can get into when seeking total health and not just recovery is “self-care”
Check out this blog I wrote on self-care during to help you begin to implement it in your recovery disciplines. This will certainly be a game-changer and something that can single handily lead to greater clarity and healing on your journey to freedom.
2 – Learning how to get into your heart, not just your head: To be able to truly heal, you need to learn how to get into what is driving your addiction and desire to numb. Ask yourself questions such as:
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What am I running from right now?
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What am I trying to numb with porn?
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What am I feeling that causes me to clock out?
Someone who is “Healthy” is typically the one who has found what most desire, FREEDOM from their addiction: This person would be the one who was willing to do the deep work to get into their root wounds and heal from the inside out. They move past avoiding the habit and move into finding out why they seek the habit in the first place. This is what builds the foundation to becoming a healthy, aware, and forward-focused individually who is on their way to total health and freedom, not just recovery!
These answers will lead you to a place of awareness, which then leads you to a decision to make… Do you want to truly heal? Because if you do, then then the work you are going to have to do will require some depth. Its time to take this to the next notch and begin asking questions that get below the surface, into the difficult times of your life.
3 – Find a mentor to help you see where you are settling for less: To use the same brain that got you into your addiction to try and get out of it seems a bit crazy does it not? Well, it is… Its actually a paraphrased definition of insanity
A Mentor is someone much greater than an accountability partner. Having someone to truly guide you to where they have been is going to be key to this journey to total health and freedom. To have someone who knows the common emotional issues, the practical steps, the twists and turns, and most of all, the result that you are seeking will be the exact piece to this puzzle that you need.
A mentor can be someone you know through your Church, a local organization, or even a friend that you look up to – Just make sure they have walked the walk and can help you through your journey.
If you don’t have someone such as this, feel free to reach out to Shawn or Helena – This is what we are Certified in, passionate about, and called to do. Check out Shawn’s and Helena’s story here to see who we are, what we are all about, and how we went from trial to triumph
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A Mentor is someone much greater than an accountability partner. Having someone to truly guide you to where they have been is going to be key to this journey to total health and freedom.
To have someone who knows the common emotional issues, the practical steps, the twists and turns, and most of all, the result that you are seeking will be the exact piece to this puzzle that you need.
Related Articles
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Selfcare During Recovery
Are you the kind of person that wants to feel a sense of relief while in recovery? This does not have to be difficult… There is something called “self-care” in the world of recovery and it may very well be the thing keeping you from giving recovery your all and all
3 Tips To Enjoy The Recovery Journey
There is nothing more fun than pursuing something bigger than you… Anything that goes against the grain and against the path of least resistance will always take a strong reason! Some questions that may help you discover your “why”:
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