October 21, 2020
Who is your inner critic?
When watching a movie that is narrated (here, we will refer to a negative narrator as an inner critic), sometimes the narration is of what’s going on inside the main character’s head. When this happens, we get two different experiences at the same time.
- The main character in 1st person
- The main character in 3rd person (the thoughts inside his/her head)
When we get to hear what goes on inside someone’s head, we get an inside scoop into the inner thoughts life of humanity. This is pretty powerful, considering we all have voices in our heads that dictate our life.
When I think of narration, I think of Morgan Freeman. He seems to narrate all the movies I watch lol. However, by taking a good look at your own life and the narration happening day after day, how would you answer the question “Who is narrating my life?”
Unfortunately, I doubt it’s Morgan Freeman. No matter how epic that would be… And sadly, even if you can’t believe it right now, it’s doubtful that’s even you. In other words, you may think you control your thought life, but more times than not, it’s subconscious patterns that take over, aka, an inner critic.
Who and what is my inner critic?
You must understand what’s happening inside your head. Your inner critic may be named many things, such as:
The majority of our mind is made up of what we adopt from childhood influence. For example, someone with a severe family of origin wounding may have a narrator and inner critic that is telling them they are worthless, alone, and unlovable. While many people blame themselves for the way they are, the truth of the matter is that their narration often ties back to things like,
- Childhood Abusive
- Conditional love
However, by taking a good look at your own life and the narration happening day after day, how would you answer the question “Who is narrating my life?”
You can change your narrator:
No matter what has happened to you in the past, you can choose to name the inner critic and change who is narrating in your life. In doing this, you will be able to begin living from healthy truth. Now, this is not an easy practice, but it sure is rewarding. Ultimately, it’s your core beliefs that lay the foundation for your life. Therefore, what you believe must be investigated and offered curiosity and kindness.
The act of naming your inner critic and narrator will help you trace back to where it originated. Doing so will offer great insight and fresh opportunities. Ultimately, this is only the first step, but it’s a giant step that leads you down a better path.
Getting the right help with your core beliefs and thought life is key. At Secret Habit, we offer story healing, sexual discipleship, and thought coaching. Furthermore, we work with you to help restore sexual integrity. If you are in a place where you want a trusted guide and proven support, consider enrolling in our 1 on 1 mentoring.
2 things you can do to change your inner critic right now
1: Be curious about your story
Take some time and reflect on what’s true. This is hard work, but it is worthy of your time and energy. Here are 4 questions to get the ball rolling:
- “Who is narrating my life and why do I let them?”
- “Where did I learn this narration from? Who influenced me to believe this?”
- “Am I allowing this inner critic into my life out of pain, or out of love? Why?”
- “Do I believe I am worthy of having a new, healthy narrator that tells a beautiful story? Why, or why not?”
2: Influence your story
In this step, I want you to begin thinking about, and writing down what you would want your future to be like. This is a time to imagine, dream, think bigger. For example, if your narrator is fear, you may decide that you want fear to be replaced with truth. Ultimately, you will have to decide what you want and where you will get it from.
The idea of finding truth may sound nebulous, but it’s really not. For example, you can find firm truth in what the Bible says, or through factual information from honest sources.
The good news, your inner critic and narrator can be changed. Past influences in your life can be removed of their power with the right posture towards your story. In closing, I want to encourage you that this takes time, patience, and compassion, but every ounce of effort you put in will reap that much of a harvest. In conclusion, you are not a victim any longer. Therefore, it’s time to break free from what has kept you bound for so long and become a victor over the past.
If you need help with any of this, reach out. We know this can be challenging to work on alone. We have been through the ups and downs of story healing and have helped many others. Furthermore, we offer coaching, help, and support for porn addiction, erectile dysfunction, sexual betrayal, and ultimately, sexual brokenness.
No matter what has happened to you in the past, you can choose to change the inner critic in your life and begin living from healthy truth. Now, this is not an easy practice, but it sure is rewarding. Ultimately, it’s your core beliefs that lay the foundation for your life. Therefore, what you believe must be investigated and offered curiosity and kindness.
As you may see, our take on helping someone overcome pornography addiction is much more about the internal than the external. We are all about helping someone change their lifestyle and seek what is good, rather than constantly avoid what is bad… If you knew how amazing life is without porn, then you would be doing whatever it took to get free from it – This is why Secret Habit exists and I hope you have found this blog helpful… we truly care and that’s why we do what we do
Bringing this full circle to COVID-19, one may feel the stress of the situation, internalize these stressors, long for relief, but seek it in the wrong places such as pornography. I know its a big idea, but if you think about it, it truly does make sense…
There are many more struggles that come with working from home, but lets just focus in on what they can all lead to – Negative thoughts, emotions, and beliefs that can lead to a desire to numb.
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