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My Girlfriend Caught Me Watching Porn… What Do I Do?

Written by Shawn Bonneteau

August 14, 2019

Are you dating a girl that you love but are worried that your porn addiction will ruin the relationship? Do you want to quit but feel overwhelmed with how?
 
It’s time to let go of this pressure and kick this bad habit before it can really get ugly. If you want to have a thriving marriage one day then the decision to quit porn now will help make that a possibility.
You are probably asking “My girlfriend wants me to quit porn… what do I do?” Well, let me give you some context and a few things that we believe will help
 
What porn is doing behind the scenes:
 
* To you – You may find that your expectations towards what your mate “should do” have become skewed. The way that you see people, and also act around them will change as you progress with porn. This all comes from a corruption of the heart and mind – you start to see the world through the lens of a porno film…
 
* To her – In this society, most of us know porn is a struggle that could be in any relationship. When there is an addiction that gets found out, it takes your girlfriend on an emotional roller coaster. It creates insecurity, a lack of trust, and a feeling of disrespect. This is why honesty before and in dating is so important. The really sad part is that she will likely blame herself for not being “good enough” and that is the reality of how corrosive porn is.
 
* Right now – It will create a tension that could hurt your future with this potential spouse. The tension will likely be from your guilt and their lack of trust, and sadly, this often ends relationships.
 
* In the future – You will be playing with fire that will potentially cut off any future with your girlfriend. If she has any self-respect and feels that you are unwilling to change, there is no reason she should stay. Please be aware of this and realize you cannot play the victim if this happens.
  

It’s time to let go of this pressure and kick this bad habit before it can really get ugly. If you want to have a thriving marriage one day then the decision to quit porn now will help make that a possibility

Now that you know the harms, here are 4 things you can do:
 
1. Realize you are not alone – Trust yourself and others and start to believe that your story is no different from anyone else’s… If someone has victory over porn and has a great relationship, know that you can too.
 
2. Realize forgiveness is available and needed – Forgive yourself. The past is the past and the future is unwritten. God offers forgiveness to those who are ready to humble themselves. You are a man who has turned down the wrong road but you are not too far gone. Anyone who has recovered was once where you are right now, don’t forget that.
 
3. You need to talk to someone – Trust someone enough to let them show you love and support and to speak truth and correction into you. Seek someone out, find a group, or get connected to a church or organization that focuses on recovery. This is not only important but vital! To have a place to heal and grow is crucial for you. I would even recommend a place of healing for your partner if you see things becoming serious and long-term.
 
4. Take action on recovery steps – Read books, watch video’s, grow yourself, develop your mind, and change your heart! Take 15 minutes during breakfast to read, 15 minutes on your lunch break to watch a video, and finish off with 15 minutes after dinner to journal! These are so important to you healing the underlying issues.

You may find that your expectations towards what your mate “should do” have become skewed

 

You may find that your expectations towards what your mate “should do” have become skewed. The way that you see people, and also act around them will change as you progress with porn. This all comes from a corruption of the heart and mind – you start to see the world through the lens of a porno film…

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